guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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