Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
