Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
