I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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