I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
