Where is the hickey?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
