Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
