She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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