An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
