i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
