i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
