two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Randomize
