Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
