It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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