what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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