I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
