Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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