This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
