Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i out mim tonsoeep
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