I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
