she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
