I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
