So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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