I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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