this just has baby written all over it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
