i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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