I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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