I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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