at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
