whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
