Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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