you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When are your genitals available?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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