Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
