So drunk its hurt
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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