Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to be your penis for a week.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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