omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
