This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
