I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
