rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
