I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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