You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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