absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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