There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
