someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
