I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize