But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
