it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
