your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize