READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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