Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize