DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
