She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
