love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
