I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
