the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
