there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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