Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
