If i come over, it means nothing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
