So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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