My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
