I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you.
Bad choice
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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