Can Purell be used as lube?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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