I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
